Moving On

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.” -Tupak Shakur

Whenever I'm on the last chapter of a book, I'd feel a little bit of everything. Sadness. Disappointment. Regretful. What if the ending of the book isn't what I expect? What if everything can replay itself once again like a broken video recorder? What if...? What if? These questions will go through my mind when  I flip the pages. Similar to our lives, I'm quite certain that there were times where we couldn't let go of the past. We were unable to lie to ourselves that perhaps, everything might just be okay at the end of the day. And slowly by slowly, we allow ourselves to be consumed by that tinge bit of fear in us. A broken friendship, a memorable past and an unforgettable person. We cannot let go because we are still stuck on that certain page and we think to ourselves, 'Would things be different if I had done this instead?' Similar thoughts like this would have run through our minds and eventually leave us, confused and regretful. However, nothing will happen even if we spend a million days pondering and analyzing a situation. What's done has been done and there is absolutely nothing, I repeat, nothing we can do to make the situation better. After all, what is the point crying over spilled milk?

Perhaps, you're unable to let go of someone. But on a second thought, while you're here missing all the memories, that very person could be out enjoying himself/herself with a bunch of new friends. It sucks, doesn't it. Knowing the fact that you seem to be the only one living in the past while others have moved on longed ago really is horrible. That feeling, I get it. But as I've mentioned, there's nothing you can do anyway. Since the possibility of reuniting with that friend is 0.0000001% and a better chance of seeking a new path is 99.99999999%, what are your instincts telling you now then? :)

Ways to officially move on :
Moving on is never easy but no one said it was impossible.

1) Start living and appreciating.
As we drown in the past, we find ourselves constantly living in the past and at the same time, wishing we could return to it. This, of course, just shows that we are unable to accept the situation we are in and practically escaping from reality. Instead of wasting precious time thinking of the past, why not start appreciating the people who have been there for you since the beginning and not the ones who came and went. The love showered from our family. The concern shown by our peers telling you that they'll be there for you no matter what. These people are the ones we should treasure and love. And by letting go of the regrets you've had, you will find yourself gradually adapting to the real situation and who knows? Perhaps, you would've been too busy enjoying with the ones you love and would've long forgotten the past you thought you were unable to. You see, as long as we overcome that teeny bit of fear in us, nothing, almost nothing is really impossible. All it takes is a determind mindset and a brave heart.

2) Understand that not everything is in our control all the time.

There will be some things that just aren't up to us to decide and we might even end up hating those decisions but do note that everything happens for a reason. God's plans happen for a reason. Trust me on that. However, though we are unable to control the direction of the wind, we can control the ship. We can control our mindsets. We can control whether we are going to be affected. We can control the type of life we are going to live. We can change our destinies and not everything is pre arranged. Put your mind to it and believe in yourself. Our fates lie in our hands and only we can take the action to change it. 

3) Socialise out there

To start a whole new chapter, you would need a brand new set of company. New people. Meet new people and exchange contacts. It's always good to know more people. Expanding connections, there's no harm! Join gatherings, birthday blasts, parties and night outs with a bunch of friends! With more people entering your life, it'd be much easier for the memories of the past that you cannot bear to let go to gradually fade off. 

4) This is just part and parcel of life.

There will be people who come and go. There will also be people who would stay by your side. And through this journey, we will discover more of ourselves and who we truly are. The changes in our lives are necessary to allow us to grow from a young, small and innocent child to a mature adult. Be thankful for the the things that are happening and remember that God's plans are always for our good. You don't necessarily have to forget all the memories but just keep in mind of the good ones and cherish your present relationships. Gradually, you'll be able to find yourself letting go and moving on.

I've been there, just like you've and I know moving on is often the hardest. That's totally okay. Simple because, we're all growing up. 

Seek your chance and do what you think you should. Are you going to dwell on the past or learn from past experiences and take control of today? It's your call.

Cr: Owner

Best Of Luck

Priscilla

Happy Or Useful

Happy? Happiness? What is it exactly? Is it just having fun or spreading joy to the people around us? On another hand, is being useful better than being happy? To be honest, let's just say I was dumbstrucked by this question, which I believe this is the exact state you are right now. I must say this question is practically the chicken and egg question. Which comes first? The egg? Or the chicken? No one probably has that answer. Oh well, maybe one or two but still. 

Let's break things out. Happiness is a blessing. To be happy is what every individual should aim for in his/her life. Just because what's the point in earning big bucks when you're all alone, sad and lonely. That, I agree. However, happiness is no longer a top priority when you neglect the people around you. Their emotions. Their feelings. Their self-esteems. Happiness will not last long that way because no one likes it when your friends start to distance from you gradually. Isn't it? Being happy is important but being happy to brighten up someone's day is even more important. 

Wait...doesn't this bring up another problem? How do you become happy when you are so busy making someone else's day? And this leads us to our second question. Being useful is indeed advantageous to the people around us and the society we are in. Being useful shows that you have a talent in something which another person might not have. However, at the end of the day, almost everyone is doing things for their own benefits. At the same time, while you're too busy helping and contributing to others, you start to forget about something. If you're on the right track, it's likely you'll know what you've forgotten. Especially if you've been in this situation. That's right. Bingo. 

Yourself. You've forgotten about yourself while being too busy over others' issues. There will be such situations that we cannot avoid but we can set priorities. Being useful while being happy. It's true that when you help others, you get that sense of joy too but there's one thing you need to understand — Sometimes, it's good to be on the receiving end at times so that it isn't just a 'giving' thing and instead, it's a 'giving and taking' thing. To love and do something for yourself while loving others because it's impossible to learn to love the people around you when you are unable to love yourself. And that's how you obtain happiness brought by others when they help you too just like how you do. Being useful and being happy.

There is a quote I know of, 'The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well'. 

Even with this quote, I still can't quite conclude which is a more important factor but one thing I know for sure is that while being useful and leading a good life, it's important to take a step back and see the bigger picture. That's when you know a little fairy powder has been added to your life. Having the best of both worlds is never possible but isn't it simply life? :-)

Best Of Luck

Priscilla 

In The Blink Of An Eye

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

- Mother Teresa

Time waits for none. In the blink of an eye, many people have came and gone. In the blink of an eye, your best friend may have joined another clique. In the blink of an eye, someone you love dearly will be going off. In the blink of an eye, anything can happen. I repeat, anything.

I wouldn't end this with a happy ending because deep in our hearts, we clearly know that happy ever afters do not exist and are possibly only in fairy tales ( an escape from reality that is only once in a blue moon ). And we know that things don't last forever simply because, the society and the people around us change with time. It's ridiculous how it works though. For a moment, you could be the first candidate on the haters' list to hate someone and possibly made a mental note to never talk to that person. However, the next moment, you could be the very same person who's actually crying and begging the person not to go. Such irony but yes. They do work like that, at least in my opinion. However, as heartless reality is, there will always be a glimpse of silver lining out there among the dark clouds. And that is, though we cannot have everything to be in our control, we can learn to take things in our stride by appreciating and being thankful to the people have stayed by your side since the beginning. To love all who love you and the ones who despise you because love comes more naturally to the heart than hate for even the worst human out there is not born with a heart of stone. Lend a hand to those who require your assistance. It doesn't necessarily be hard chores that require great strength all the time. Instead, it can be as simple as giving a big teddy hug to someone who's having an utterly horrible day. You see, you don't necessarily have to use words to comfort a person but instead by sitting by his/her side, listening to his/her woes and you could be of a much greater help. Your assistance doesn't necessarily solve a person's problem immediately but it's more than enough because your actions tell him/her that no matter what happens, even if the sky falls or the ground splits, I'll be there for you.

Right here, I'm telling you that there will never be an ending that we all agree on. Perhaps, the person standing next to you might leave tomorrow. Or the person whom you love dearly will no longer be around. That feeling. No one likes it. Time isn't in our control but as long as we leave no regrets for tomorrow and treasure the loved arounds around us, I think time is and will no longer be a factor. Say ' I love you' to your mom, dad  or even your friends. Hug everyone you see ( Not literally but guys, you get what I mean :) ) Appreciate everyone around you. Time is ticking. Yes it is. I hear it. Everyone hears it but are you going to wait for regrets when you no longer do? 

Best Of Luck 

Priscilla x